LOWELL |
Sandra
Schantz is
on a
mission, a
gentle labor
of love, to
help
families who
have lost
children
during
pregnancy or
infancy.
That is why
Schantz, of
Lowell,
wrote her
second book,
"Labor of
Love," a
Helping
Hands
publication
through
AuthorHouse
in
Bloomington,
Ind.
Schantz said
she timed
the book's
Monday
release to
coincide
with the
National
Pregnancy
and Infant
Loss
Remembrance
Day.
"I do a lot
of public
speaking on
grief and
loss," said
Schantz, a
registered
nurse with a
bereavement
certification.
Schantz said
she spoke in
July at the
National
Bereaved
Parents
Conference
in Chicago
and will
address the
subject of
grief and
loss in
foster
children in
November in
Indianapolis.
Schantz said
she
previously
worked as a
labor and
delivery
nurse at St.
Anthony
Medical
Center in
Crown
Point. It
was there
that she
established
a
bereavement
program that
continues at
St. Anthony
today.
The stories
told within
"Labor of
Love" were
culled from
her years as
a labor and
delivery
nurse,
roughly from
1981 to
1991, she
said.
"When I
called the
families to
get
permission
to use their
babies'
names in the
book, they
were so
touched that
I remembered
their
babies,"
Schantz
said.
Schantz, who
earlier
authored, "A
Medical
History and
Health
Diary," said
she sees her
current
endeavor as
a tool for
medical
professionals
and
families.
"I think
it's for
education.
It would be
great for
labor and
delivery
nurses to
read,"
Schantz
said. "It
would be
good, too,
for moms and
dads so they
would know
they're not
crazy."
"Labor of
Love" can be
ordered
on-line
through
Amazon,
Borders,
Barnes and
Noble and
BooksaMillion.
My Personal Story
of
My Family, Foster Care,
Adoption.
Why do bad things happen to children?
Have you ever wondered why Foster Homes are needed?
Is it God's will that bad things happen
to children?
I don't believe it is. I've been there though, thru some pretty ugly events that have left
deep scars, emotionally and physically. Just as parents set rules for their children to protect them...not to deprive them, God too has set rules for His children.
To protect them, not deprive them. When we, make decisions to do things, live lifestyles that are outside God's will
for us, there are
consequences for those decisions.
Most children in foster care are there because of consequences for lifestyles their parents have chosen.
Memories and Hurts
My
brother and I were shifted from parent to parent and grandparents to
grandparents. The memories of dishes being shattered in the mornings, glass
bleach bottles hurling across the room and our windows of our being
beat out with billy clubs. We found ourselves living with "friends of
the family" Where were our parents then?
Who decided where we
should live? Being
separated from my
biological family,
living with friends
of the family, being
sexually abused and
then into foster
care did little for
my self image. I
felt unloved,
unwanted, bad,
dirty, guilty. My
only sibling and I
were separated in
our first foster
Home. How
vivid the memories
of
crying myself to
sleep at night,
because no one
cared. My poor
stuffed, dilapidated
lion that managed to
survive the moves
with me, was all I
had that I could
love, trust, talk
to, cry on. Imagine
seeing the other
kids in the house
receive hugs and
kisses and you being
told, "your lips are
like sandpaper, no
one would want to
kiss you."
Hope for the Hopeless
At
the age of 8 and all alone in this world, my caseworker informed me it
was time to move again. She made it very clear, that if this next
family didn't keep me, I would be going to the Mayflower girls home and
stay there until I was 16 or 18. My thoughts? Let's just go
there now and be done with all of this. Why would this last family want
me? No one else did. Besides, I didn't need them. I made a vow to
myself to never call anyone mom or dad again. Seems everyplace I
went, I was expected to call the adults mom and dad. Something
was different though at this "last hope for a home" It was only
thru the unconditional love and security displayed by my adoptive
parents that I learned a new lifestyle. The anger and bitterness
slowly melted away. Thru the same unconditional love, I was adopted
into the family of God. I was able to give all the awful things of the
past to Him. It was not my fault. I am not bad, dirty or unlovable. I
was washed white as snow, and given a new lease on life!
As For The Rest
of The Story:
As a young adult, 22, I began my search to find the pieces of my past that haunted my memory. It took just over 1 year to do so. I've found & met
my biological mother and father, and my brother. We have now had
for 20+ years already a warm, friendly relationship. I have not and
will not call either of them mom or dad, for you see that title was
only earned by the folks who adopted me.
If
You Would Be Interested In Hearing
The Whole Story
As Well As The Rest of The Story......
It is now available on CD....."Tender Tears"
Sandi
Schantz, RN has been speaking publicly at child abuse
vigils, foster parent conferences, women's retreats and nursing
in-services re: child
abuse, grief and loss experienced by foster children, grief and
loss experienced by the loss of pregnancy and infant loss as well
as sharing her personal story of foster care and adoption. Sandi
and her husband Bob are foster parents, trying to make a
difference for kids in the system.
